I missed the Kentucky Derby this year, dammit. I was sick. Watched it at home. Still fucking awesome. Calvin Borel is such a goddamn hoot (3:30 for his on-horse interview)

I’m from Richmond, VA where we had the Strawberry Hill Races. I went as a budding young woman and found myself privy to my older friends’ 3 story ice luge, jello shots, and unlimited kegs of beer. I never saw a single horse.*

Here we have a handful of popular bourbons who have taken the traditional race cocktail, the Mint Julep, up a notch. A Mint Julep is bourbon, mint, sugar, and water. So yummy.

I was in Astor Wine’s pre-race date and spotted this bottle.

I was so blown away bc “mint julep” is in the name so it seemed to me that it would be premixed…I asked the guy who worked at Astor and he had no clue. I’ve been researching and I still can’t find an absolute answer–is this a premixed Mint Julep or just a commemorative bottle in celebration of the Kentucky Derby? The recipe for a Mint Julep is printed on the side of the label which led me to believe that it was NOT premixed, however, I’ve read differently. Anyone?

Woodford Reserve is the official Kentucky Derby Bourbon and has been for the past 11 years. This is just a specially designed label, painted by a retired jockey. Early Times’ special edition is a premixed Mint Julep. Apparently, Woodford and Early Times do this Ode to the Derby thing every year.

*I never saw a horse bc I was shitfaced and constantly running back and forth to one of the 800 port o’pots lined up behind the track. It was always amusing to me to see soooo many white people get soooo drunk en masse. One time it rained all day and it was like fucking Woodstock. Naked mud-covered white people everywhere. If it had been sunny for the races, you could tell who had been bc of the red sunburns in the shape of Oakleys, backwards visor straps, and dress straps. If the sunburns were “off”, you knew they passed out with and no one bothered to wake them up. (no friends)

I found this pic online when I looked up “strawberry hill races richmond”. This is what it is, basically. Fuck that shit, pussy. A keg stand. Try 3 stories of ice luged tequila, bitch!