A master kimchee maker in Korea (South, Duh. You can’t master anything in North Korea…except Acting Like Life Is Great), is taking the stank out of kimchee by freeze-drying it. She said she got the idea when she was on vacation in Europe and the tourguide asked her not to open her kimchee because the other people would be offended. Fuck that. Every ethnicity has some stinky food product!

Malaysians have durian. Inuits have fish ice cream. The Dutch have pickled herring. Norwegians have lutefisk. The Chinese have fermented tofu, or “Stinky Tofu”. We all stink. I guess it’s fun and useful to have astronaut kimchee, but, I don’t know, I feel like taking that aspect away makes it less genuine…and less train-clearing. My good friend, Mina, who happens to be Korean, and I have had exactly the same experience of clearing a subway car with mul kimchee, the white daikon kimchee, because it was in bag with korean fried chicken as a side (banchan). People were freaking out. Screaming, fanning their faces, uncomfortably laughing, and changing cars. I had one dude that didn’t leave or look up from his newspaper or even flinch. I didn’t notice that he was chinese until I got off the train. He’s used to stink in his culture! I wanted to hug him.