Who is this retard who wasted beef jerky on a purse? And when I say “beef jerky”, I mean, “shitty-and-dry-but-still-edible-like-if-you’re-trapped-behind-enemy-lines-in-a-jungle-and-must-eat-something-and-can’t-do-maggots-anymore”.

If you’re in NYC, go to Ling Kee Beef Jerky. 42 Canal btw Ludlow and Orchard. I have people asking me to ship this to them from other states. You will want to name your first son or daughter (what other options are there?) after me for telling you about it, then their middle name will be Ling or Kee. They have pork, chicken, and beef. Regular and spicy. Like me.