Xmas Eve I made Spaghetti & 100 Meatballs for my Honky cousins. I can say that because I’m half honkey, though some would argue I lean more towards Redneck. It was nice to have all the cousins slurpin’ on some yummy vittles. No more kids table, most of them are legally allowed to drink. Patrick, the cutie in the Superman PJ’s is Will’s son. I gave him a book on farting for Xmas. I gave Will a book on poop.

Xmas Day we packed up from Richmond City and drove out to Beaver Dam. Country roads, country roads. Stewart, one of my many cousins, just got a new rifle and he was stoked to have us try it out. He just got a job at Dick’s sellin’ guns. They had a hot pink .22 that everyone said I should get. Boo. I’d rather have one of the BB guns that actually packs some heat (air). Plus, they look real. I could shoot the assholes who honk their horns outside my fucking house…make a point. It is Brooklyn…

Will, the family tattoo Master, brought his handguns. We agreed to leave the AK at home. It had a laser sight which I’ve never used before, but I didn’t want to scare the children (Julie). He brought a .38 and a 9mm. The .38 is an old friend but I needn’t get into that story today. We had a blast and frankly, I wish I could do it much more often. Shooting guns is kinda like playing pool or bowling in a way. Both of which I hate. But I hate them because I’m not instantly good at them and I lose interest once my averageness starts showing. But I have a knack for shootin’ guns, thus, I like it. Plus, it’s nice having the solitude that comes the moment right before you pull the trigger and after the echo of the ringing shot has disappeared.

We all went inside and had a nice family meal of Prime Rib and Bridget, my aunt, made amazing homemade bread which was gone instantly. Later that night, Will, Chanti, his lady, Ricardo and I went to an old haunt and drank the shit out of some “Firefly”. One of these days, I’ll explain how Richmond VA drinks. But for now, Firefly is the new Black down there. It’s amazing. Sweet Tea Vodka. My longtime friend, John came out and I hadn’t seen him in years, much to my dismay. 

On our drive back to NY, we stopped in DC at Jeff’s for a Holiday Sweater Party/Old Skool Reunion. It was a bunch of friends from my early college years. I borrowed a Tasmanian Devil hoodie that zipped all the way up and had eye-holes from Will. Foolery all night and brunch the next day. Dave and Brent are pictured passed the fuck out with toes in the face and cauliflower genitals. They both snored so badly, I have no idea how we slept. Then Dave’s alarm kept going off for what seemed like 3 hours…Mobb Deep. I’ll show you shook ones.

It was a relaxing holiday down in VA. Hours of chillin, drinking, and talking about who’s the most fucked up family member (still no winners)…I heart my Family.

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