DINING ETIQUETTE, EX./CORNER BISTRO
I have been working in the bar/restaurant industry for half my life. I have been watching this internet back n’ forth for a few days and I really need to set this straight. Saturday night at Corner Bistro, the hole in the wall that many New Yorkers claim have the best burgers, there was an altercation between server and customer. The customer claims it was a “hate crime” because he was gay and that he was attacked. Here is the video.Now, I only had to watch this once to see what happened. The customer went for the server’s neck and the server flipped out and pushed him across the restaurant. I’m guessing the steaming “faggot” bomb got layed out at some point here.
First of all, without telling you any of the “he said/she said”, if one of my employees physically went at a guest, they’d be on the street. However, if it was self-defense, this is an exception. They would be suspended, but only as a social disclaimer, “Don’t hit.” (like our mommies said) And if someone comes at them again, I’d expect them to defend themselves. I am a person who considers Respect one of the top priorities in living life. If you fuck me, I will find a way to regain my respect…
Anyways, here is my bottom line. (I should pull a Kanye and type in all caps): Just because you come to eat or drink at an establishment and you are paying for a service and/or product, that does not make the person who is serving you a lesser being. They are not slaves, they are not lower on any social totem pole. They are working. Just as you may work a 9-5, these people just work a different shift. They are doing the same thing you are. Trying to pay bills, to make it in this sometimes hellish city. You are not special. You still must behave as a respectful human being.
Now, in this altercation, supposedly, the party in question, jumped the line to get a table. If they had cut in front of me after waiting for a half hour, that would have been me arguing because that’s straight up rude and you guessed it, disrespectful. Also in question, was the server bussing a drink before it was empty. Words were exchanged between a girl in the party and this dude jumped in to separate them. Quickly thereafter, the dude went for the server’s neck and the server immediately defended himself and pushed him across the room.
People get shitfaced. And at Corner Bistro, most people are shitfaced. And the servers have to put up with the shitfaced customers. It’s there job. But, there is a line that does not ever get crossed. So rules fly out the door. If the server called him a “faggot” and that’s why the dude grabbed at his neck, I can understand the distress (disrepected again!) but physical contact is unnecessary. Note that they talked this all out after the confrontation.
In cases like these, I will always take the side of the server’s back initially. It’s been a historical occurrence that we in the service industry get treated like lesser people. However, once all the cards are out on the table, one can always make a more informed decision. I’m just saying, CUSTOMERS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. There, I Kanye’d.
Note: I’ve been with “friends” who have behaved badly at restaurants, i.e. they holler or scoff at the servers, don’t tip sufficiently, or try to back out of their part of the bill. Guess what, I won’t dine with them. Not cool. You know who you are. If you do this, realize that you put your company in an awkward position every time you behave like this. Show a little respect for them, at least, and if you don’t value yourself, don’t let it reflect on them. And to the people who keep going out with these shitheads, put your foot down: No more.
mmm…. agreed!
Just out of curiosity how many times have you been treated badly/abused by the employee of an establishment versus how many times have you yourself treated an employee badly when you were a patron?
I wouldn’t say I’ve ever been “abused” by an employee…I’ve never acted in such a way that would merit shitty service…I feel bad for leaving a 15% tip.
Your reply leads me to believe (and please correct me if i am wrong) that while you have never actually been “abused” that you have indeed been treated badly on occasion. In addition your response also says that you have “never” acted badly towards an employee. Thus leading me to assume that you have been treated badly more times than you have treated anyone else badly.
If this is correct then i would have to agree with you.
I would also add that; i have been refused service on a number of occasions based on the color of my skin, have had service refused based on the color of members of my parties skin, been sworn at, ignored, double charged, and just generally treated with a level of disdain that i would use for my worst enemies. This history of dining experiences would have to lead me to err at this point (with the info you provided on your previous post) on the side of the corner bistro customer.
It is never “ok” to use violence to resolve a dispute in your business.
Finally throughout the entire video the employee is blocking the patron from the main exit of the corner bistro. After the “neck strike” in question the employee does not back away from the patron he indeed, i would argue, pushes the patron to the side and back into the dining room. In addition to voiding any claim of self defense with this action he apparently endangers other unrelated diners and customers. VERY UNPROFESSIONAL.