Heyo, Amy Chua! I saw you on Colbert (see below). You made it worse, Miss “It’s supposed to be a joke” (I say Miss because I didn’t see her wedding band from her probably jewish husband. Oh yeah, right??? What’s wrong with bedding a chinese man and making babies? Oh what is that you say??? Huh? Oh, a white man’s sperm make tallah babies? Oh, that must be the reason because otherwise, your kids would have been shared Valadictorians even though they’re probably a few years apart. Of course, because you planned it that way. Fucking Asscunt.)

Anyhoo, here’s Ms. Swan (from MadTV & Lois on Family Guy), everyone’s favorite asiany “ajama”. I don’t know if she has kids. Anyone? I don’t care, she’s fucking hilarious and this is pure genius. She throws up a fortune cookie. Everyone knows, you’re supposed to eat that thing before you read the fortune. She somehow swallowed it whole and it stayed crispy. Must be a separate stomach that chinese moms have to snatch forbidden foods that they don’t want their kids eating, like Lucky Charms or Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.