You want to go to here. Read how I make my delicious concoction–The Greatfruit, the cocktails to end all fucking cocktails. Trust.

Starting tomorrow, Serbia will be hosting the 7th Annual Testicle Cooking Championship. Organizers are hoping that it will attract tourists the same way Scotch did for Scotland. Um…

Said to have aphrodisiac qualities, balls from bull, wild boar, horse, shark, ostrich, kangaroo, donkey, turkey, goat, reindeer and elk will be featured. Check out this fucking quote from Festival organiser Ivo Mokovich: “This year the theme is let your imagination run free – we have allowed the entrants to submit dishes using any kind of testicles that they want – large or small – and we’re looking forward to seeing what the expert Serbian testicle cooks come up with.”

This is real. I can’t make this shit up. “Cum up with”?!!!??? Everybody, let’s book tickets to Serbia NOW.

As the summer comes to a close, a few of us are getting our last minute vacations out of the way before the autumn hustle takes a hold. For instance, Katie Longmyer, this month’s Fagat Survey contributor is in beautiful Lyon, France! An übermench of marketing and promoting, Katie takes brands and turns them into festive soirées with her team of party dj’s sure to make you shake your ass (Shake it fas’, according to the radio edit by Mystikal, video below pix). Come to the final Disco Boat cruise party of the year this Friday!

Le Jardin de Berthe

• Website: NA
• Address: 3 Rue Fleurieu, 69002 Lyon, France
• Notes: What we ate (con’t): Salade Tariflette – melted Reblochon chese on top of of potato with one walnut and diced bacon. – this dish is named after a well known dish from the alps – its strong and heavy – designed to keep you warm and full in high altitudes. Ravioles Montagnardes – cheese ravioli with diced bacon in a cream sauce witha big slice of reblochon melted on top. This is great and affordable for a quick lunch, and a great way to get aquainted with traditional french food.  If you can’t handle anything heavy — it all basically comes in salad form, or with pasta. The regional ingredients, cheese and wine are very good and very fresh and local. They have several specials with a lunch, drink and dessert under 15 euros as well. The decour is beautiful with arched stone caverns, but the one flaw is track lighting that causes a pretty intense glare worthy of sunglasses depending on your angle. The service was a bit slow, but not bad. We brought a dog and they brought him water and had a good attitude.
• Hours: lunch: 12-2pm, dinner: 7:15 – 10:30pm – open every day except Sunday and Holidays

IT’S THE GODDAMN JAM! Click on the images to go get it. Tracklisting is below. Come see me at Lucky Strike tonight, 9pm-1am, Grand btw W. Broadway & Wooster. Thatkidprolific will be at Max Fish from 11pm-4am. Figure it out.

Lafayette is the newest member of the Skimkim family! They have delicious fresh pressed juices and drip-to-order coffee in a cute little space with tons of love. So yum. You can see how much they support local purveyors! They have Brooklyn Brine & Anarchy in a Jar in addition to Skimkim Foods. Go pick up a new & improved Smash N’ Burn S’more or the latest marketfresh Skimchee. They’ll be rolling out a new salad featuring Asian Green Goddess, too, so make sure you try that one!

They’ve gotten great press for an infant baby shop! Take a look on Grub Street & NY Times.

Note: They are sister shops with Oro Bakery & Bar over on Broome St, near where Palais used to be. Yay to the ol’ hood!

I’ll tell you what the fuck to make me for fucking dinner.

This weekend, we skipped town and flew down to Richmond, VA, my hometown. Every year, my family has a huge pig roast. I’ll do a more indepth post of the events of this year but this is just a taste. Excuse the dumb shit I’m saying to the pig as I pull his face apart. I was drunk.

Unfancypants Ice Cream!

to Dj at Lucky Strike for Part Deux of “Weekends Are For Losers”, Part Trois being thatkidprolific at Max Fish and tomorrow night, catch these fools for PocketPorn. It’s a CGN kind o’ summer.

Yeah, I’m gonna say it. This is fucking genius. I will admit that I’ve always had trepidation whilst slamming any type of bomb bc I have in fact, had parts break (of the glass).

As a bartender. Not to me. And that’s some scary ass shit. You know, liability and all.

And no one believed me when I wouldn’t let them do bomb drinks “because the glasses break…” They always thought I was calling them Assholes, indirectly. I kinda was bc I didn’t think they could handle swallowing glass.

Anyway, this solves the breakage issue. Sake Car Jaeger Orange Crush Bomb till your Fratarded ass is swallowing live goldfish, Suckas.

Note: Duffy…I will always win.

Note: I’m counting down the days till this bitch touches down. Imma order these glasses just for the occasion since she loves throwin back sickly sweet energy drink (see below) & elk blood shots simulaneously.